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"Blank Stairs"


She stairs.
Three flights down is her car.
Sedan.  Four door.  Twenty-one thousand miles.
In circles.

She was an artist once.
The smartest dunce.
Finger paintings mostly.  Never sold a finger print.

Now she works five days for fity weeks. Filing. Typing.
Her sentence is run-on.
Never noticing the tessellating artistry of her cubicle horizon.

Her T's are crossed, eyes are glazed over.
Her tears are seeded   
Where the sonnets will grow.
But they hold tight to old sights.
Pupils too contricted from the monitor glow.

She stairs.
Three flights up is the roof.
Sky.  Four clouds.  Twenty one mile view.
In every direction.
This is another poem that was done for 25 cents per line. It was commissioned by ~natasha-marie and she wanted something about a girl who is completely uninspired... with sad eyes.

I tried. ;)

Poerty, 50 cents per line. [link]
Add a Comment:
 
:icondismal-tears:
Dismal-tears Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2007
this is really nice
Reply
:icongirldisrupted:
girldisrupted Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2004   Writer
this is a commissioned poem?.. wow is there anything you can't do? writing on request is one of the hardest things to do and i never would have guessed that's what this was if you hadn't said so in the description.
great play on words.

and the subject matter... that is one of the things that terrifies me the most.. the idea that i'll end up stuck in some dead end job doing the one thing i promised myself i wouldnt do... you've handled the topic so well and with so much originality.
Reply
:iconklentex:
klentex Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2004
sad, how many people really are like that when you consider the circumstances. the average person who can't escape a loop, or won't...
Reply
:iconsumants:
sumants Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2004   Writer
No comment. Fix that silly intentional typo. :+fav+
Reply
:iconkaujot:
kaujot Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2004
Coming back to it now, I want to critique it, but I find that I am lacking material to critique.

This is as near a perfect work as I have ever seen.

:+fav:

And sorry it took me a day to get around to this. I've been very absent-minded lately.
Reply
:iconmibi:
mibi Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2004
oh hush :blush: .... its nto perfect... i even left a spelling error in there so you can have something to critique... :petting: ...but i submitted this almost a year ago...just update the thumbnail which is why its back on your watch... ;) .. thanks tho kj..
Reply
:iconkaujot:
kaujot Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2004
No, it's perfect.
Reply
:iconkaujot:
kaujot Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2004
Is it supposed to be "constricted" on the last line of the next-to-last stanza?
Reply
:iconpunky-o:
punky-o Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2004   Photographer
"her sentence has run on"
punilicious
Reply
:icondeadcow7:
deadcow7 Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2004
Again, the puns in this poem are very clever. You really manage to use them to get a feeling across. There are two puns I don't really get though: spellings of the words "sentance" and "tessalating".

Good job!

DeadCow
Reply
:iconmibi:
mibi Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2004
thanks again... and those are actual spelling mistakes.. i make a lot of them...
Reply
:icondeadcow7:
deadcow7 Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2004
oh, alright. I wasn't sure.
Reply
:iconexitdust:
ExitDust Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2003
my personal favorite poem from you, almost as good as prose + .coms.

kidding, just kidding. smart. smart feaking poem right here. love the circulatory aspect of this beautifully written work. genius, just like everything that you have the circles to put on your site.

loved it, loved every word.
Reply
:iconsomedrunkblackspoon:
somedrunkblackspoon Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2003   Writer
needs a nudge here and there, but you got me at 'she stairs'
Reply
:icondeadilion:
deadilion Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2003
Ok never mind it just didn't show up properly.
Wow I'll leave you alone now.
Reply
:icondeadilion:
deadilion Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2003
Um yeah so apparently my computer thinks I don't count now.
Its ok, nothing I had to say was worth while anyway.
I'll go die now.
Reply
:icondeadilion:
deadilion Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2003
Very very splendiferious if I do say so myself. :)
The only thing is... you'd think you would've spelt poetry right in the little icon picture dealy, hmm. :P Nice pic though, goes with it well and all.
Reply
:iconexoteris:
exoteris Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2003
I once took a picture of my cubicle farm that this reminds me
of, but I like what you've done with the place.

mibi house rock.
Reply
:iconiamnophotographer:
iamnophotographer Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2003  Hobbyist Photographer
stunning :) u should make tons of poems and make a "receuil de poésie" :P
Reply
:iconloona-starr:
loona-starr Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2003   Writer
Wow Thats Really great. I love it. :D Its just all like......Wow
Reply
:iconbuddha7283:
buddha7283 Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2003
I like the poem i think it's ok that you write poems for others for cash but I still prefer honest pure raw emotions
Reply
:iconn0deal:
n0deal Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2003  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I love the word play and the rhyme scheme is fantastic. Tres beau! :D
Reply
:icontherios:
therios Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2003
You suck. You suck. You suck. You suck. Don't quit your day job, sweetheart.


Ever be a jerk to my buddy again and die. DIE SLOWLY.
Reply
:iconjohnedgar:
johnedgar Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2003   Filmographer
That was a dumb comment, thanks..
Reply
:iconderivablezero:
derivablezero Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2003
Wow Jesse, this is great. I love "her sentance is run-on"... Your plays on words are so awesome, I only wish I was able to do that without making an ass of myself. Who thought that puns have a place in poetry? Well, they don't, I guess. But in poerty, they definitely do. Nice work, again.
Reply
:icondeadcow7:
deadcow7 Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2004
No puns in poetry?! Ever read Shakespeare (whos name could be said to be a pun as well ;))?
Example from Othello:
you'll have your nephews neigh to you; you'll have
coursers for cousins and gennets for germans.


Ok, just couldn't resist being a wise-ass here for once :)
Reply
:iconevilfaeries:
evilfaeries Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2003   Writer
God.

Im going to get a credit card and pay you like fifty bucks to write a shit load of poetry for me.

I Love this part the best...

"Her T's are crossed, eyes are glazed over.
Her tears are seeded
Where the sonnets will grow.
But they hold tight to old sights.
Pupils too contricted from the monitor glow."

You arent even a writer, are you? Agh you make me jealous. kick ass hun.

:kiss: Kandice
Reply
:iconztaangel:
ztaangel Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2003
WOW i like it !!!!!!! Awsome job love the imagry and the last part of the poem great ending !! :hug:
Reply
:iconztaangel:
ztaangel Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2003
lol i just realized my comment is almost exactly like someone elses sheesh... so i gotta add something to it to make it different!! ok i'll ask a question... what inticed you to write this poem ?? :)
Reply
:iconrabiebabe:
Rabiebabe Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2003
It is a little choppy, it could have more adjectives, but it's your poem, I like the feel of it though, I guess it's just not my type of poetry, but taste has nothing to do with talent. Good job.
Reply
:iconguitarsinger:
Guitarsinger Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2003
I really like this! it is totally different than anything I have ever read before. The fourth stanza is particulary striking to me with BEAUTIFUL imagry!

Thank you for the comment on my piece by the way...*goes of to frolic in your gallery*
Reply
:iconwernstrum:
wernstrum Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2003
nice poem, nice imagery. Good ending, and I like ur idea of commissioned poetry on devART. Quite the business man/woman :D
Reply
:iconnatasha-marie:
natasha-marie Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2003
what in the hell.

anyways.

i was really not expecting something so awesome. i really :heart: this, though, and thanks and all that.

*huggles it*

uh yeah. :|

er. :)
Reply
:iconnatasha-marie:
natasha-marie Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2003
FIRST COMMENT w00t!
Reply
:iconnatasha-marie:
natasha-marie Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2003
FIRST COMMENT w00t!
Reply
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